Have you ever met someone with tattoos of Chinese characters and wondered if they know what it really says. “It says ‘PEACE!’ Because I’m, like, totally into PEACE!” But it actually says, “Cross-eyed dumb fuck.” Our short sleeve “Inga” woven shirt is kind of like that: it’s covered with Russian prison tattoos that were often forcibly applied and have secret meanings. A tattoo of a cute li’l pussycat, for instance, means the bearer is a thief. Portraits of Russian women mean the bearer is into David Bowie—or at least that’s what we think because all of the tattoos of Russian women look a lot like David Bowie. We actually have no idea. And that’s the fun of the Inga shirt: a tattoo on it might offend an ex-con from a Siberian gulag. You’ll be thanking us when Vladimir tackles you and holds you down with a shank to your throat while his buddy Dimitry gives you a new tramp stamp with ink made from piss and melted tires. The Inga shirt offers an experience of a lifetime!
But if you’re a total pussy who’s scared of adventure and just enjoys looking nicer than others, we have a variety of less unusual short sleeve woven offerings that are all made of a light breathable fabric, come with a chest pocket, and have a traditional scalloped hem. They look great, they’re comfortable, and they present little chance of a forced tramp stamp made from piss and melted tires. But we still recommend the Russian prison tat one. You only live once.