KR3W Denim Co.

KR3W Denim Co.

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SKATE OF THE UNION (KR3W EDITION)

clydecares lets discuss some things.. first off- when did skateboarding, get cluttered with so many DWEEBS? i mean.. we got folks out here actually lookin at skateboarders as "role models", "Father figures" and alla dat..? yall serious, right now..? what kinda fruit goat sh!t is that?! lemme get this right.. a sport, a little over 3 decades goin(in a professional sense).. is already lookin for aspects in its athletes that sports thats been around over/little less than a century- still havent gotten in place correctly yet..? does this make "sense" to anyone? actually.. i dont even know why im askin common sense questions.. at this point- its pointless.. for Christs sakes.. i am talkin to the same people who look at folks as "role models" one minute.. but the next, fail to connect the dots that these same folks are destroying property, runnin from cops, and all that good stuff on any given Sunday.. and, im one of them! im no "role model"..  heres another lil gem for ya.. most pro skateboarders.. if you dont skate with pads 85% of the time, arent either.. ruh-roh.. you mad, Scooby? you should be.. at yourself.. youre confused..  skateboarding has a long ways to go.. so do you.. in the meantime, fall back and just enjoy it for what it is.. skateboarding.. *drops mic, and Diddy bops off stage*

21 QUESTIONS 3.0

clydecares yo.. am i trippin, or did January pass by with the quickness? and, why did i wake up, in the worst mood today? furthermore- how did i let some dumb ass broad get me in a bad mood? i mean really? a broad? actually..  do i even really care? real tawk- shouldnt Kr3w do a forum w/a skateboarding publication? and, hold up- was i trippin, or did i see Jay-Z in some Skytops? whaddup Young Josh? yo.. yall dweebs & e-thugs out there read books? or, yall e-ducated? yall know im already on my 2nd drink, right? you mad, Scooby? can anyone get that original footy of Terry Kennedy slammin doin that lipslide in SF? am i allowed to say that? what? why yall always want/think us brothas fightin/beefin? you know where were from, right? wheres my nukka Antwaun Dixon? you do know- thats the shoe right now? better yet.. you know where to put your foot to do a switch varial flip, everytime? hold up..*looks at glass*.. yall know what time it is?

ITS OFFICIAL.. LIZARD KING RAN 2009..

clydecares yknow what.. i was gonna do a list of "best of..".. best songs.. best skate spots.. finest skate-Moms.. yadda yadda.. then.. i thought about it.. im gonna gon' head and name the breakthrough skateboarder of 2009.. and, theres no one else who fits this category, than Lizard King.. im sayin.. lets be reality.. what DIDNT this cat do last year.. MTV? check.. contests? check.. coverage? check.. shoe?
PB030832_2

im sayin.. lets be reality.. Lizard King, ran last year.. he was, the skateboarders, skateboarder.. think not? well, why dont one of you “men/woman of genius” ’splain who did.. oh yeah.. you cant.. so, since only what i say matters.. im going on record to say, Lizard King was THAT dude last year.. the dude did a reverse Airwalk down Wallenberg.. same day- backside-180 one foot.. had everybody singing the Killa Cam classic “Wet Wipes”.. cmon, breh.. Lizard King in ‘09, was no different than when OC hit the scene with “Times Up” in ‘94.. you think not- ask somebody.. so, id like to take this time to give it up to my mans Lizard.. dude was the truth, like Sojourner.. pop bottles.. dont forget to start with straight shots.. its officiial, like a referee with a whistle.. wih that said- ill see yall next time.. enjoy the new year.. make new moves, and money.. and, yall be safe.. jeah!

GOLLY IM GULLY VOL.4(THIS CANT BE LIFE…)

clydecares yoo.. peoples.. first off.. i wanna say Happy New Year to all.. and a extra Happy New Year to my kidney for making through the weekend.. i think my little brother smashed bout every slore within in arms reach, get some dome on the dancefloor and a bunch of other gully sh!t like that.. so, the intention was to give him the spotlight this go around.. then.. something else happened.. lets discuss this, folks..

first off.. whats this dude wearing:

kidcudiskirt-small

now.. i know i aint trippin.. i just wanted to make sure everyone see what the fukk i see.. so.. if im correct- this DUDE, is wearing a SKIRT.. im sayin.. lets keep it trilla.. whas good with a DUDE, wearing some sh!t like this? with some Jordans, at that.. *shakes head* this- is totally, unexcusable.. … more

GOLLY IM GULLY VOL.3(MER’ CRI’MUH EDITION)

clydecares ive never been a big fan of Xmas.. ive never been very patient.. i lived in the projects until i was 8, so there wasnt some imaginary fat dude sliding down the chimney that wasnt even in public housing units.. and furthermore, before my Mom thought she'dbreak the news to me one day- i NEVER believed in Santa Claus.. at all.. flying reindeer.. bwahahahahah.. yeah.. anyways, on this edition of my critically acclaimed, "Golly Im Gully" series, im gonna hit yall off with some of the gulliest Santa's photoed.. i salute these dudes for not only being able to be some of the few individuals aside from skateboarders and roadies who look like total creeps, but could still secure a job.. but for these gully ass memories they've blessed families across the world with.. enjoy

umadSanta2

ok.. lets be reality.. whos fukkin with this dude? got egg nog in his beard.. aint even touching that lil screaming rugrat.. and got the illest, “n!kka, take my picture” swag in the universe.. salute this man.. … more

A FEW REASONS YOU NEED TO SIT YO ASS DOWN V.2

clydecares - you let a security guard take your skateboard or video camera..
- you dont have at least one Gucci Mane song in your iPod..
- your Moms is on Facebook, Myspace or any social networking site kicking it with your friends all the time..
- youre a dude, and you let another dude braid your hair
- your girl is a stripper..
- your girl is a stripper, and you Love her..
- you spend more time talking, than being about it..
- youre over the age of 15, and still listen to Eminem..
- you own a snakeboard..
- you rock a chain wallet, with no money in it..
- you think Survivor Man, Bait Car, or Ghost Hunters is "real"
- you dont respect Tiger Woods Black side, after hearing that "imma wear you out" voicemail..
- you a Pittsburgh Steelers fan
- you think Masons, and Illuminati are the same thing..
- you watch Telemundo, with the sound on..
- you didnt vote, but complain about the President, and policies..
- you broke up with your girl, cause she slept with another girl..
- you dont live/are from New York, and you sing "Empire State of Mind" loudly whenever you hear it..
- you skate a pool, like a mini-ramp..
- if youre still standing, and one of these desriptions fit you

GOLLYIMGULLY VOL. 2 (KR3W EDITION)

clydecares

i know the MTV Awards were a bit ago.. but gawt dayum, is this one of the gulliest things ive ever seen in my life.. heres the scenario.. Hova shows up in a motorcade to Radio City Music Hall, to perform his newest hit "Empire State of Mind" with Alicia Keys.. As confused as people seem, everyone in the crowds somewhat digging the performance. Then. Outta left field. This lil Bow Wow lookin broad named, Lil Mama catches the holy ghost- and literally, just runs up on stage. How she got past security? Beyond me. But, she runs up on stage and goes straight into a b-boy stance in front of Hova da God. Hov IS known to mush a b!tch in the face. But, i think he was more startled than anything. Hell. i would be! Ole girl looks like a chupacabra, with a weave. Anyhow. She starts rocking next to Hov, and as the end of the song comes on- all you see is Hov. A. Keys. And, Lil Mama in the middle of the stage arms folded. i mean.. look at the fukkin photo! bwahahahhahahahaha.. who the fukk is gully enough, to do some sh!t like that?!?! so in this edition of Golly Im Gully.. i gotta give it up to this broad. this is possibly, one of the gulliest moments in television awards history. Right up there with the time ODB rushed the stage at the Grammys, and screamed "Wu-Tang is for the children!!". Damn, i miss that old crazy sum'uhb!tch.. anyways.. heres the actual performance.. dope song.. cant say much for that swaggerless, leather vest though.. until next time..

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A FEW REASONS YOU NEED TO SIT YO ASS DOWN…

clydecares

  • You go to ya girls, and her “friends” walking out her room w/no shirt, socks or shoes- and you dont say nothing..
  • You get slapped in the mouth in front of ya girl, and dont do nothing.
  • The amatuers on your team, are better than you..
  • You and ya girl, share jeans…
  • You think Moroccans, are Middle Eastern…
  • You tell people you on a team, but when you open the mag/catalog- ya name aint on the team list..
  • Ya pants so tight, you cant wear socks..
  • You carry your skateboard around, by the truck..
  • You spend more time complaining about not having a job, than actually looking for one..
  • You cant axle-stall, but you can do a bunch of flip tricks on a ramp..
  • You & ya girl have a threesome, and she makes you just watch..
  • You still cant tell the difference between Mexicans & Puerto Ricans…
  • Your Mom found you weed stash, smoked it- and you didnt say nothing…
  • Youre Black, and you voted for John McCain..
  • You flossing at the club, but you actually took the bus there and live w/ya Momma…
  • Youre a dude, and you still kiss your Dad on the mouth..
  • You use myspace, facebook, etc.. to pick up woman..
  • Even though 99.9% of cell phones & computers have “text edit”, you still cant spell/know how to use simple words correctly..
  • Some pros came in town, and smashed ya girl while you was out showing off ya lil skate spots/tricks..
  • You just recently realized, Peppermint Patty was gay..
  • You work at a skate company, magazine or in the industry- but you cant even drop into a 5ft ramp without full padding..
  • You and ya Moms is at the same house party…
  • You think Koala bears are Chinese…
  • You aint never stood up for nothing..

10 UGLIEST PEOPLE ON REALITY TV

clydecares

I had to pull this one out the cut.. id originally been sitting on this masterpiece, for another site. but, since Kr3w IS my n!kkas. and, they just sent over the box with my 2 favorite pair of Skytops- i HAD to return the favor with the piFF’edry. Good looks on the kicks, fellas. Young Josh. whaddup my w!gga. i see you. the rest of yall.. enjoy.

New York- im gonna go ahead and get this chupacabbra looking bish out the way first. gawt dayum, is this.. this.. “thing”- ugly as hell! i bet any amount of money in this world- that her meat wallet smell like a wet, old Negro League glove. id personally rather stick my dyck in a volcano, while french kissing an endangered Ape. and thats being nice.

New Yorks Moms- i was to originally put that chick Daisy(Daisy of Love) in this prestigious poll. Then, i was to go in on how she looks like Janice from the Muppets. But after some research, found out some clown had already written the same thing about her. oh well. so in the spirit of “keepin it moving”, ive squeezed in this ‘Beetlejuice(of Howard Stern fame) with a wig‘ lookin bish. Real tawk. This broads so black, a fukkin space shuttle flew into her body! And looking at both her, and her daughter makes me second guess any “population control” proposals.

Brooke Hogan- can somebody tell me exactly whats “attractive” about this porpoise shaped prosti’tot? actually. lemme reitirate that. shes actually shaped more like Bobby Hill, than a porpoise. and by that, i mean her entire bodies shaped like her back. plus. if(and when) she does grow a mustache from years of steroids, and mens vitamins- she’ll finally look like her Pops. yeah. you know, her same Pops that had his hand in her asscrack “putting lotion on her back..”. wowzas.

Beth Chapman(of the Bounty Hunter)- hmm.. never realized Miss Piggy could actually have offspring! now, the real question here is- exactly WHO was fokkin Miss Piggy? my first guess would have to go to Dusty Rhoades. then again. a quick profile glance, and Beth does somewhat resemble Capt. Lou Albano too. either way. her swag, any sort of “gravity” under them tig ole bitties, and her face- lawst at life.

Miss Jay(of Americas Top Model)- real tawk. this dude so black, he makes charcoal look beige! whas wrong with this “brotha”, anyways? not only does he look, and dress like the old lady downstairs in the window from that show “227″. but. he also look like he takes long baths, in a fokkin wet bbq pit. ’scust.

That thing that was on “I Want to Work for Diddy”- exactly, “what” the fokk is this? A dude, with tits?! good Jesus of Megatron. WHY do people do shyt like this? Seeing this type of shyt, makes me wonder if animals really are smarter than humans. You ever heard of a cat, that wished he barked and pissed on hydrants? Or, a horse that wants a fokkin elephant trunk? Exactly. Being confused, and ugly are horrible qualities. And while im at it. where is this, and that Miss Jay things Dads?!

Tila Tequila- ive personally never found anyone under 5′1, “attractive”. and being shes a good 4′8 in a decent pair of heels, plus looks like a ant- doesnt help her cause either. should i keep going? ok! she almost took a “Shot at Love”, with a chick who looked and even dressed like Dennis the Menace. kisses people who eat pig genitalia. breath, and cooch probly smells like Dinuguan. i could do this for days. basically. shes gross as fokk.

Wendy Williams- I wonder when the creators of Donkey Kong, are gonna sue this bish and her face for copyright infringement? and has anyone figured out, this is the poor womans Joan Rivers yet? not to mention, on a good day- she looks like a homeless golden retriever from the neck up. and we all know how annoying retrievers can become, once you play with em.. they never seem to know “when” to quit. shyts annoying. just like Wendy Williams face.

Brett Michaels- yknow we’re fokked up as a society when a 40-something yr old male. can dress up like a 52yr old unattractive bar hag- and pull woman. smh @ this old man walking around with a bunch of eyeliner, hair extensions and leather. looking like a old, white, poor mans Rick James!

Pumpkin(of Flava of Love): aside from having male monkey boobs, and looking like a wet raccoon- why does this lady always have that, “i just queefed” face? and who other than myself, is more than convinced her “other set of lips” continually blow hot air? Teeth look like candy corn. Got a haircut, like the dude Francis who stole Pee Wee’s bike. Kissed Flava Flav. So you know her breath probly smell like a old sword, fished outta a moat. Yeah. Shes straight- trife.

21 QUESTIONS 2.0

clydecares
spoiler alert: yall know Mike V. is in the movie “The Hangover”, right? is Chris Cole, the “Andy McDonald of street skating..”? whys everybody doing 3-trick combos? i thought we got past that stage, in the ’90s? Lizard King still pushing that Back to the Futre whip, he won on “Fantasy Factorty”? if so, can he go back in time and let everyone know that skatings gonna quit progressing in the late 90’s? did you guys know Catholicism is the “beast”, thats spoken about in Revelations? hold on.. outside the in’nahnets & text messages- do you guys even READ? aside from his recent arrest for preaching naked on his roof due to ’shrooms- when did you realize Jereme Rogers was an embarrassing jackass? and is it me, or is he(Jereme) slowly creeping to Mark “Gator” Rogowski status? what about that last sentence, is eerily TRUE? sooo.. am i gonna have to be the one to ask- When is KR3W gonna make a video? aint it about time we see all these dudes, in one video? if they do- imma be in it too. you mad, Scooby? ok.. i just re-read, and who else thinks the 3 previous comments deserves a “16 no-homos, minus 16 no-homos..”?  hold up.. yall do know im coming outta retirement, the day Mike Vick gets signed again- right? real tawk- whas good with those Jim Greco zebra skin, KR3W denims? is that whas hot in the skreets, or am i “getting old..”? speaking of gear- why hasnt KR3W made a KRS-One tee, that says “If you wanna join the KR3W, then you must see me..”? hey! did i just throw that out there,  for FREE? who cares?

10 WAYS TO RUIN YOUR SKATEBOARD CAREER

clydecares

- Win Tampa Am: has there truly been anyone whos won that contest, and went on to become a top pro- or is it me? id personally always considered it the Rose Bowl of skateboarding contest. but the more i pay attention, im starting to realize its more like a Patriot League championship game. weird…

- Ride for a random board/truck/wheel company: why do people do this? you guys do realize, this is like working for a lemonade stand. and then, trying to walk up in Mountain Dew and become a full-time employee but using your lemonade stand duties as a “reference”- right? smarten up, kids. i realize you gotta start somewhere. but, damn. at least be reality.

- Dont Skate: if your name aint PJ Ladd, or Gino Ianucci- dont try this at home. i mean. them dudes can pick up a board, and do damn near anything in the world- effortlessly. you? well, you might be kicking it in the van on tour one summer. and cleaning out vans the next. so as i said. dont try this. 

- Get a girlfriend: imma be reality, for 2seconds.. i love woman, more than i love chicken. but, unless shes got a full-time job. decent friends. and doesnt really care whether you go pro, or not. shes a complete waste of your time. you’d be better off getting a dog. at least it can pull you to the store, actually pick up MORE girls. and knows when to quit barking. 

- Don’t leave the East Coast: ive elaborated on this before. if you want a career in skateboarding. you HAVE to spend a good bit of your time out West. look. i dont make the rules. but i know them! and one rule is- dont post up out East like its “all good”. theres little, to no media coverage. and theres always some dude twice as thirsty as you, who’ll be more than glad to take up some floor space out West to create a future for himself. 

- Tear up a hotel room/tour van: i dont know why people think its all good, to just ruin something you KNOW you have no possible way to replace or fix. its always the dude who dont got nothing in the first place, so maybe they deem it as “ok”. but if i were your TM, id focus your board. then, leave you there w/the keys and no money. 

- Get non-skateboard related sponsors/ads: why do people do this? look. if you aint getting free cars. computers. or anything worth real value- why bother? energy drinks. of course. you know how much a case of(insert energy drink) goes for, at your local convienant store? anything else. is pointless. i mean. who REALLY uses hair products, to go skate? 
 
- Running your mouth, to the wrong people/person: ive seen this go down, waaaaaaay too many times. dudes think because they filmed their lil video parts, or because they running with a certain crew. they can say what they want. yeah. yall obviously watch too much wrestling, or something. because talking sideways, will get you on monster. and i aint alking about the energy drink, either.

- drinking/drug problems:
 jesus. where, and what decade can this go back to and people STILL havent gotten the memo? kids. stay off the devils dandruff. especially, the lean. and quit drinking like you just exited a damn pirate ship. the only “good” thats gonna come out of it, is me mentioning your bummy ass in a editorial few years down the road. 

- being, over hyped:
 The good ole, Phillip Rivers syndrom. or as my man Jay-Z would say, “…started off with a spark, and now you just garbage.” and truthfully, it happens all too often. some under-qualified team mangaer, pushes this new guy all in everyones face. were all wondering, what the big hub-bub about. next thing y’know, 2yrs later. dudes Chris Branaugh status.. classic

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