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clydecares

- Win Tampa Am: has there truly been anyone whos won that contest, and went on to become a top pro- or is it me? id personally always considered it the Rose Bowl of skateboarding contest. but the more i pay attention, im starting to realize its more like a Patriot League championship game. weird…

- Ride for a random board/truck/wheel company: why do people do this? you guys do realize, this is like working for a lemonade stand. and then, trying to walk up in Mountain Dew and become a full-time employee but using your lemonade stand duties as a “reference”- right? smarten up, kids. i realize you gotta start somewhere. but, damn. at least be reality.

- Dont Skate: if your name aint PJ Ladd, or Gino Ianucci- dont try this at home. i mean. them dudes can pick up a board, and do damn near anything in the world- effortlessly. you? well, you might be kicking it in the van on tour one summer. and cleaning out vans the next. so as i said. dont try this. 

- Get a girlfriend: imma be reality, for 2seconds.. i love woman, more than i love chicken. but, unless shes got a full-time job. decent friends. and doesnt really care whether you go pro, or not. shes a complete waste of your time. you’d be better off getting a dog. at least it can pull you to the store, actually pick up MORE girls. and knows when to quit barking. 

- Don’t leave the East Coast: ive elaborated on this before. if you want a career in skateboarding. you HAVE to spend a good bit of your time out West. look. i dont make the rules. but i know them! and one rule is- dont post up out East like its “all good”. theres little, to no media coverage. and theres always some dude twice as thirsty as you, who’ll be more than glad to take up some floor space out West to create a future for himself. 

- Tear up a hotel room/tour van: i dont know why people think its all good, to just ruin something you KNOW you have no possible way to replace or fix. its always the dude who dont got nothing in the first place, so maybe they deem it as “ok”. but if i were your TM, id focus your board. then, leave you there w/the keys and no money. 

- Get non-skateboard related sponsors/ads: why do people do this? look. if you aint getting free cars. computers. or anything worth real value- why bother? energy drinks. of course. you know how much a case of(insert energy drink) goes for, at your local convienant store? anything else. is pointless. i mean. who REALLY uses hair products, to go skate? 
 
- Running your mouth, to the wrong people/person: ive seen this go down, waaaaaaay too many times. dudes think because they filmed their lil video parts, or because they running with a certain crew. they can say what they want. yeah. yall obviously watch too much wrestling, or something. because talking sideways, will get you on monster. and i aint alking about the energy drink, either.

- drinking/drug problems:
 jesus. where, and what decade can this go back to and people STILL havent gotten the memo? kids. stay off the devils dandruff. especially, the lean. and quit drinking like you just exited a damn pirate ship. the only “good” thats gonna come out of it, is me mentioning your bummy ass in a editorial few years down the road. 

- being, over hyped:
 The good ole, Phillip Rivers syndrom. or as my man Jay-Z would say, “…started off with a spark, and now you just garbage.” and truthfully, it happens all too often. some under-qualified team mangaer, pushes this new guy all in everyones face. were all wondering, what the big hub-bub about. next thing y’know, 2yrs later. dudes Chris Branaugh status.. classic

12 Comments

  1. josh

    June 2nd, 2009

    1:38 pm

    Yo does weed count?

  2. sir jorge

    June 2nd, 2009

    1:46 pm

    didn’t lutzka win tampa am?

  3. purple gold bling

    June 2nd, 2009

    2:45 pm

    i agree

  4. Kyle

    June 2nd, 2009

    2:57 pm

    Spanky won tampa

  5. Lexington

    June 3rd, 2009

    6:52 am

    Bobby Worrest is doing just fine on the East Coast. Chris Cole still lives in PA. Stevie and the whole DGK fam team are in ATL now.

    Leaving SoCal is the new “black”!!!

  6. Fuzz

    June 3rd, 2009

    10:35 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… KEEPING IT REAL ALWAYS..

  7. luke

    June 3rd, 2009

    5:29 pm

    this is the dumbest piece of shit advice ever dude :) thats so funny

  8. kodaik

    June 5th, 2009

    9:22 am

    yall should pay attention thats real talk right there. good looks clyde

  9. Molotov

    June 10th, 2009

    8:55 am

    Just because someone says it don’t make it real, yo. Think for yourselves, this is just some dudes opinion.

  10. Stizzler

    June 15th, 2009

    2:21 am

    Unless your name is Tom Penny, listen to what Clyde says! It’s the truth…

  11. Cowpiss

    July 1st, 2009

    10:00 pm

    he speaks the truth, can’t argue too much, except for one thing…

  12. Tare

    November 9th, 2009

    8:52 pm

    Skrew You Tampa is the shit!
    My Girlfriend is the shit!
    The east coast, is the shit!
    Drunk partys at hotels r the shit!
    hair products are the shit!
    my mouth, you guess right…ITS THE SHIT!!!
    drugs, its the shit…
    chris branaugh is the fucking shit!!!

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